That friend who never gives up

Give up [intransitive verb] ~ /ɡɪv ʌp/

"to cease doing or attempting something especially as an admission of defeat."

There was a time in my life where I was naive about the future. I had friends that came and went, leaving something from them in my life. I learned to say goodbye maybe more times than I had wished in my life.

People come and go in everybody's life, this is nothing new.

But there are people who come in your life to stay. They leave a mark so strong that it creates an unbreakable bond. I am lucky enough to have a few of those with me now, and I treasure them.

There is the dynamic duo.

There is that friend who has been with you all of his life. Your best friend ever.

There is the gang.

There is El profe.

There is Mr S. and Mrs L.

And there are those friends you never asked for.

All of these people keep me honest, they keep me centered. The have qualities that bring the best out in me. They are very important to me, and hold an incredible special place in my heart.

And there is that friend who never gives up on you, whatever you are going through. That one person who keeps you grounded and does not bite into your bullshit (not that my other friends do either).

Mario is that friend.

About 6 years ago, I went through a lot of changes in my approach to sport and wellbeing. I made significant progress following my passion and doing the things I loved. I got a hold of my habits, changed them, and made big changes that had a huge effect in my personal life, in the way my kids looked at me, and the way they felt about their dad. It felt good, and I felt happy. I loved racing and challenging myself.

Windsor Triathlon and Ocean Lake Triathlon.

As years passed I grew stronger and continued to cultivate good habits. Then something happened. And what I am about to say sounds like a broken record, like an old cliche, like I keep repeating myself over and over again. But it happened, and it changed me.

My dad died.

And there I was, a broken man, looking for a way out, looking for options. I started to pick my battles and tried to find ways to feel better, to recover, to get out of that dark place.

The best way I can describe the way I feel is like being in the sea, and letting the waves carry you over and over again. An endless loop of hope taking you up towards the skies, and then crashing you down hard. With no end.

I have written about it extensevely, and it has helped. But at the end of the day, it is what you feel inside that trascends everything that you try and do to feel better.

Is the sadness that carries you, and it has carried me for a very long time. Still does.

I look at my family, and I know that it is what I do moving forward that defines where I want to go and what I want to be. It is the decisions I make today that will shape the way my kids will see me as they grow up.

And I don't want them to see a miserable man who is sad all the time.

There is that friend who stays by your side, always. That friend who wants to snap you out of that sad feeling and does not know how, but he never gives up. He stays with you. He stays with you as you laugh, as you cry, as you try your best to be a better man and to come out of that hole that has burried you into the ground.

They stay close to you. They see you fail time and time again. But they don't give up on you. They don't give up on you because you matter to them, because they truly feel sad seeing you all broken down and trying to put some hope into the nightmare you are going through because something bad happened in your life when everything was going great.

Here I am today, starting all over again, like I did 6 years ago when that 14th of October I re-connected with somebody I never imagined would become such an important part of my life.

Thank you for not giving up on me, my dear friend. Your persistance has made my pain more bearable, and has helped me endure these waves of feelings that come and go.

Please don't give up on me. I will not let you down. As I did not let you down 6 years ago.

I will be back.

Thanks for reading.