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"It's not possible". "No, it's necessary".

Writer's picture: The Useless RunnerThe Useless Runner

resilience [noun] ~ /rɪˈzɪlɪəns/

"The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness."


comeback [noun] ~ /ˈkʌmbak/

"A return by a well-known person, especially an entertainer or sports player, to the activity in which they have formerly been successful."


My favourite movie of all time is called Interstellar. It's a story about a guy who does everything he can in order to save the human race, sacrificing everything to make it happen. I just love everything about it; the plot, the action packed scenes, the mysteries of the universe explained as close as possible to our own reality, and the fragility of the human race.


There is a particular scene in this movie, in which Cooper (the main character) must dock with a fast spinning spaceship in space. If he can't do it, they die. A robot (CASE) is helping Cooper in this quest, and when he says they are docking, the robot says: 'It's not possible'; to which Cooper replies: 'No. It's necessary'.


Case : “It’s not possible.” Cooper : “No, it’s necessary.”

I know this is just a science fiction movie; but the context of this scene is very powerful to me. You have a robot built with AI telling you that something is impossible to do. All calculations have been made, and there is no way this will work. But Cooper, in all of his humanity, is convinced that this is something they must do to save themselves. Is something that's required. Is not a choice.


This is how I feel life is right now.


It's necessary to mourn the loss of someone close to you.

It's necessary to feel that pain every morning when you wake up.

It's necessary to cry.

It's necessary to feel lost.

It's necessary to feel things have gone to shit and you cannot pick yourself back up.


But this is not the whole story. This is not, and should not, be the norm. This should just be part of the journey.

I think about my dad every day. I remember him dearly and recall many of our conversations. I try to look at his photos and listen to his voice, but I can't.

It hurts too much and I can't stand the feeling of hearing his voice knowing that he will never say anything to me ever again.


Knowing that I will not see him again breaks my heart.


I am not one to demonstrate my pain in a very expressive manner. I am not one to cry inconsolably blaming the heavens on my friends shoulders. It does not mean I am not grieving.


Those close to me know how I feel, and know how painful this has been. And I want to thank you for being there for me. Every single one of you has given me something new to learn. You are important in my life, and I need you. I do.


I also know that things will eventually change for me. I know that one day I will remember him and be happy about all the things I learned from him, and all the adventures we had. I know that time will heal and I will be whole again.


But that can't happen on its own. I need to act. I need to want it to change.


It's necessary to let go and to enjoy the only life I have.

It's necessary to talk to my friends and let them know how I feel.

It's necessary to heal my wounds and to try again.

It's necessary to be happy.

It's necessary to smile again and not feel guilty.

It's necessary to live the best life I can.


Right now it seems this is not possible, but that can't be true. It will be OK. I know it will. It has to.

It's time to start healing, and reflect on how I want to live my life. I want to honour my parents in the best way possible, and I doubt that "sitting on my ass, complaining about how unfair life is, being bloody lazy and not giving a shit about my wellbeing" is the way my parents would like me to live my life. Is definitely not the way I want to live my life. Is very sad to think I would live that way. But this is happening to me now, and I can't be like this. I can't contemplate a life where all I have is sorrow and anger.


It's necessary to come back.

It's necessary to show resilience.


In the end, Cooper did dock with the spaceship, and he saved the human race. He showed the world that when it seemed impossible, it could be done. Even if this is science fiction, it does not make it any less real.


I will do this for you, mom.

I will do this for you, dad.


I will do this for you both. To celebrate your life. To make you proud. To be whole again.


This is me right now; trying, failing, crying, fighting, losing ..... but always trying again. For you, for my kids.


I love you both, and always will.


This is not just a comeback. This is the mother of all comebacks. Or at least it is for me, in the context of my own life.


I always talk about how insignificant our planet is in the spectrum of the universe. But it does not mean that we, as humans, are insignificant. We are still a miracle, and we are relevant. We are relevant to each other, to our families and to our friends. We are relevant in the context of the universe and all celestial bodies. We are here, we are alive. That alone is the best gift we could ever receive.


I will be strong for them.


Rest in peace, you beautiful souls.




Here is that scene from Interstellar in case you are interested.



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