Pain [noun] ~ /peɪn/
"highly unpleasant physical sensation caused by illness or injury."
Today, for the first time in 7 months I ran for 60 minutes. This is my biggest running milestone since February.
After my hernia surgery I had a long way to recover and try jogging again. I had ups and downs along the way. A stubborn knee injury that bothered me for months and stopped me from even trying to get some work done. After that, it was plain and simple: I got complacent and did not strive for anything. It took some time regain momentum until I finally got off to a good start.
60 minutes is not a lot of time, but for me is not about how much time you have to do something; is about what you do with that time to find a fruitful result, or get the outcome you want to achieve out of that time.
Time is a frivolous thing, or it can be significant if you make it so.
All I had in front of me today whilst doing this run was a TV screen, and music in me ears. I also had my parents photo printed at the front of the t-shirts I used in my Ironman Races. They always bring that fire in me. Always.
Time passed slowly. As the pain started to settle in; many thoughts crossed my mind. I wanted to stop at 30, at 35, then at 45, then I thought of slowing down. But in the end I just managed to scrap the bottom of the barrel and finish off with a decent to mediocre time. Still a successful hour in my book.
Today it was not about the 60 minutes, but rather about all the emotions I went through during that time. Being deep in my thoughts, thinking about the good, the bad and the ugly. Remembering my parents and my struggles. Thinking of my WHY and the reasons behind it all. Is this WHY the one that has meaning for me, and that is all that matters.
It pains me to see how slow I am at the moment. Thinking of how I used to run back in 2019 or even last year. Especially after going through the knee problems and realizing that I have to be careful and cannot overdo it. I am conscious of that, and I know I have to be careful. All I want is to feel the discomfort and to make sure I am still growing, and not slowing down.
In all it was a good session. In those 60 minutes a lot of things happened in the world. About 16000 babies were born, 6000 people died, About 20000 planes were in the sky, and many more.
But those 60 minutes meant more to me than anything today, because they were my internal battle, they were my demons and my insecurities. They represent my desire to endure and to get this done, once and for all.
Thank you for reading.
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