Clusterfuck [noun] ~ /ˈklʌstəfʌk/
"A disastrously mishandled situation or undertaking."
Today is not your regular blog post.
This week something happened to me. Something that never in our wildest dreams we could have imagined. Something that our perfect Instagram posts and stories cannot even comprehend.
Life happened.
A series of events in my day to day created a snowball effect which ended up with me living up to my social media handle: Useless.
We rarely read stories like this, mostly because we are so busy repeatedly doing the same thing every day, that it becomes the norm. We never stop to think about these situations, or even consider them to be difficult. We just live through them as if nothing happens.
Monday
I had a great Monday. I was full of energy as the week started. I smashed a 5K run and got my best ever PB under 25 Minutes. I felt extremely proud and accomplished. I obviously shared this on social media and mentioned it to a few friends. food was on point; recovery was going well. Work was a bit busy, but manageable. Kids were doing their virtual learning and we got on about our day as usual.
Tuesday
Tuesday started a bit later than usual. I squeezed an early workout as best as I could and managed to do about 75% of the workout I had planned. I was not able to complete it as it required a lot of power and I was completely depleted. Nothing wrong with that. I did my best and left it all out there. Kids kept us busy as usual, and I managed to cook food for the day. Work was a bit busier than usual.
Wednesday
I was not able to wake up early to get my workout done. This happens sometimes and is totally fine. I was late with breakfast for the kids and had massive amounts of coffee in the morning. I had many calls throughout the whole day and was only disciplined enough to get my lunch properly done, the rest of the day went by real fast. I started snacking a bit, and the coffee continued to poor in during the afternoon. We had a long evening with the kids and homework. I started to feel a bit tired, and my head started to hurt a little bit. I paid no attention to this. My body was talking to me. I did not listen.
Thursday
The day went by in full gear. I was not organized to get food done on time, woke up later than usual which meant no exercise. I had stupid amounts of coffee, and more snacking. My headache got progressively worst. It was meant to be my weigh-in day after the 10-day cycle, which I completely ignored. Went to bed extremely late.
Friday
I don't want to talk about Friday. I took some medicine.
Saturday and Sunday the headache continues ....... is just a matter of managing it the best way possible.
You see, there is always a breaking point in every story. When you less realize it, things start to go sideways, but you just ignore them, and hope things will 'be alright'.
There is something I call 'the point of no return'. In life, it defines (for me) the point where something gets to a place where there is no turning back, and the consequences must be faced.
~ This week, for me, it was Wednesday evening. ~
I went on and on, pushing through like a good soldier, hoping it would just go away. But it didn't.
When things go wrong, I feel like all control goes out of the window, like no matter what you do or try, things just go from bad to worse, in an uncontrollable manner.
But in my opinion, things only go wrong if YOU let them go wrong, unless you reach 'the point of no return'. Once that happens, you must face the music.
I eventually weighed in and was not surprised to be +1 KG heavier than 10 days ago. It did not really surprise me, nor I gave two fucks about it.
One thing I feel very strong about is not lying to myself. Not pretending that things are OK and that magically everything will be good. You cannot lie to yourself like that.
~ Never justify your weaknesses by being lazy. ~
I am still dealing with the headaches. I have not had such bad headaches in over 5 years. Last time it happened I was in a similar place: Bad food choices (much worst back then), a hell lot of coffee and life stress.
I am still learning to deal with things like this, and it goes to show that we cannot always hit 100% of everything we set ourselves out to do. We have bumps on the road, and we have to deal with them in the best possible way. We better ourselves on the way. We evolve.
I would be lying to you if all you saw from me was smiles and amazing positive stories and photos. That is not how life goes. It sucks sometimes, and that is OK.
The important part of this story if what you do at the end of it. What you learn and what you apply in order to not repeat the same mistakes again. Let's be honest, you may make the same mistakes again, but probably react quicker and deal with it in a much better way.
Life goes on my friends. We are fighters, but we are also human, and that makes us powerful.
One piece of advice?. Surround yourself with great people. It goes a long way to have someone to talk about these things.
Thanks for reading.
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